


fish dads

by plinth_of_life



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, M/M, One Shot, Real Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-29
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-09-29 20:57:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20442431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plinth_of_life/pseuds/plinth_of_life
Summary: Dan and Phil can finally bring their adopted betta home. They watch their new fish with admiration and anticipation of the future.





	fish dads

Phil was told the call could come any day now. Though he tried to focus on his personal projects, he would often zone out and stare blankly at his phone, as if he could will it to ring. He and Dan had been preparing for this moment over the course of the last few weeks and they couldn’t wait to finally experience it.

Dan was sitting in the lounge when it happened. He instantly knew what was going on when he heard Phil start talking in his loud, nervous phone voice from across the foyer. Within a few minutes, the voice was replaced by the sound of bumbling footsteps. Dan looked over his shoulder and saw Phil peeking his head around the doorway, his eyes wide and his smile even wider.

“Are you ready to pick him up?” Phil asked.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Dan replied as he got up from the couch. The two men were quick to head out the door, eager to pick up the newest addition to their family.

…

“He’s beautiful,” Dan murmured, transfixed on the betta’s shining scales.

He was struck by a memory from weeks ago when he was looking for fish with Phil, scanning all of the tanks of little creatures waiting to be adopted. They spent hours browsing until they were awe struck by one fish in particular. Shining blue scales and a glorious tail that was somehow the perfect blend of their eye colours caught Dan and Phil’s attention immediately.

“That’s our baby! He looks just like us already,” Phil exclaimed, looking at Dan with a gleam in his eyes.

Now at home, Dan and Phil watched their baby as he swam peacefully through the handcrafted aquarium.

“What do you reckon we name him?” Dan asked, finally moving his eyes away from the fish and turning to Phil.

“Well, I don’t think Susan would work very well as a boy’s name.”

“Wow, I thought we were going to be gender-inclusive parents, Phil. But, at least the sex of our fish is enough to deter you from giving him a stupid name like that. This is our first child, we need something more sophisticated.”

“More like soFISHticated! Ohhh!!!”

Phil giggled until he noticed Dan glaring at him.

“Okay, jokes aside, we could name him after one of my old hamsters! I think my favorite name out of the bunch was Norman.”

“Ooh, Norman’s a nice name! Very austere, very classy, I like it.”

“Do you like it, huh? Is Norman your name? Can we call you that?” Phil asked, cooing at the fish like it understood every word he was saying.

“Yes, daddy,” Dan whispered in Phil’s ear. Phil responded with a chuckle and a gentle shove but soon Dan was wrapped up in his arms, his head on Phil’s chest. They stayed in that position for what felt like hours, cuddling in comfortable silence, admiring their beautiful aquatic son.

…

“I suppose we should let the world know about him. Should we film a story?” Phil asked, his head still resting on top of Dan’s curls.

“Do you remember how crazy they got when we were just setting up the aquarium? Let’s just tweet a picture for now to ease them into it.”

Phil complied, snapping a picture of the betta and posting it to his Twitter page. He handed Dan his phone and embraced him once again.

Dan started scrolling through replies, picking out the best ones to read to Phil.

“Someone says to tell Norman they love him.”

“Someone on Twitter loves you, Norman!” Phil told the fish. Both men laughed when the fish blew a bubble in response.

“Oh, I’m seeing a lot of Norman Bates comparisons. I hope we didn’t adopt a little fish psycho.”

“Maybe he’d start a fish hotel! Or we’ll wake up tomorrow and see that he killed all the shrimp while we were sleeping.”

“Mmm, let’s just make sure he doesn’t get his hands — fins?— on any tiny knives.”

Phil giggled and pressed his cheek on Dan’s head.

“He still hasn’t swam through the hole yet, do you think it’s time to sue him?”

“Hmm, maybe the hole’s too small? Perhaps someone didn’t prepare the hole for this so it might be a tight fit,” Dan said with a smirk.

“Well, he likes that girthy log in the back at least. I guess he likes it nice and mossy,” Phil could barely hold back his laughter as the innuendos got worse and worse.

Dan snorted, then both erupted into a fit of chortles and tears started forming in their eyes. Dan leaned into Phil’s chest and Phil tightened his grip around Dan. They held each other until they could both catch their breath and wipe their tears.

“God, what is it going to be like when we can’t make dirty jokes around our child? I don’t want our kid to start picking up on jokes about anal sex but I’ll miss the bants nonetheless,” Dan said once he fully recovered his ability to speak.

“Well, we can make as many nasty puns around the dog as we want. Then maybe when we have a baby, we’ll be mature enough to hold back.”

“Babe, I’ll be just about your age by then and you certainly haven’t grown out of it.”

“No, I guess I’ve… grown  _ into _ it.”

“Oh, come on! You can’t make that joke twice!” Dan yelled as he pushed his hand against Phil’s cheek.

He smiled up at Phil as he teased him, looking at him with so much adoration in his eyes despite the feigned annoyance of his words. For a few seconds, they stared at each other without saying a word.

“I can’t wait to start a family with you,” Phil whispered with a warm smile on his face.

“Baby, our family is already getting started but right now, it’s just you, me, and Norman.”

Dan leaned closer to Phil and met him with a soft kiss. When they pulled away, the two men looked back at their betta, hoping that he was happy in his new home with his doting dads. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I was perhaps a little too emotionally invested in Dan and Phil's new fish, especially after reading through tumblr, so I decided to write this. I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> find me on tumblr @queerendeavors
> 
> kudos / comments / reblogs are always appreciated <3


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